Ink Blots
(Warning: Graphic Post)

I underwent an HSG last Friday.  Before I went I prepared myself- meaning I read dozens of online comments from women who had undergone one.  Now, in case you don't know, an HSG (hysterosalpingography) is a procedure where a doctor shoots a dye like material into your uterine to see if the material flows into your fallopian tubes.  A lot of women experience infertility because their fallopian tubes are blocked, so this test checks to see if that's a problem.

I was a bit nervous- I had heard that the pain level varied depending on who you ask.  I tend to deal well with pain, but I still was a bit nervous. 

I arrived at the imaging center.  I had called around to dozens of centers to find the cheapest.  This one won at $240.  As soon as I arrived I knew why it was the cheapest: it was undergoing renovations.  It looked like the place hadn't been updated since the 80's- floral wallpaper, blue cabinets, etc.  The place undergoing a massive renovation, so it seemed like a third world country- the ceiling tiles were removed, wires were everywhere, etc.  I figured I wasn't going to pay an extra $100 to have a pretty office, and as long as the equipment worked, who cared? Besides, I would be laying on a table, naked under a gown, having some doctor look at my privates- I doubted the wall color would matter to me.

I was lead into a room and asked to change into just a hospital gown.  When I came out I was directed to a table.  I don't think it was meant for HSGs because there were no stirrups- I had to just place my feet directly on the table.  I waited for a while and eventually the doctor came in.  He was no nonsense, told me to lay down, knees up, and got right to it. 

He inserted the speculum, which is, as most women know, just a wonderful experience (read: sarcasm).  Once the speculum was in place, I peered to the side my knees and saw him pull out a LARGE, VERY LONG needle.  I just about panicked- but somehow I held it together.  I wasn't going to look anymore because the doctor knew what he was doing, and I didn't need to know all of the details.

The doctor talked me through the process- told me what he was doing.  Next to me was the x-ray machine (I think that's what it is), so I could actually watch the dye as it was shot into my privates.  It is amazing what we can do.

At some point the doctor told me I would feel a little pinch, so I took a deep breath, preparing for a little pinch.  The doctor was a liar.  I didn't feel a little pinch.  I didn't feel a medium pinch.  I didn't even feel a big pinch.  I felt a stabbing my my vagina.  It hurt like nothing I've ever felt before.  It was bad enough for me to yelp out loud.  But, it was a very short lived pain- as in just a few seconds, and I was better. The rest is a blur.  The test doesn't take that long- maybe 10 minutes.

When he was done I was instructed to lay for a while so the dye could leak out.  After about five minutes I sat up.  The sheet under me was covered in the brown dye material.  It was pretty darn nasty.  I got up and went to meet the doctor. 

I'm happy to report that the results came back positive- my tubes are not blocked.