Mother-in-law.

My mother-in-law is awesome.  Let me say that again.  My mother-in-law is freaking awesome.  I love her to death.  She is loving, supportive, honest, friendly, and just wonderful.  This weekend we are going to go visit her for mother's day.

Last time we spent a couple of days with her was when the husband and I took his family on a skiing trip this winter.  We booked a cabin and invited everyone up.  The weekend was super fun- my husband has a lot of siblings, so we all had a great time.

But I began to see my mother-in-law is frustrated by the fact that we aren't pregnant.  She kept mentioning that she has kept all of husband's baby clothes, his crib, all of his toys, etc so that when we get pregnant we can just have all of that stuff.  She also gifted me a necklace with a pendant of St. Elizabeth (patron saint of pregnant women).

Here is what I was thinking: (1) I'd like our child to have his/her own identity, and not just be recreating husband's childhood- I want to have the child have elements of both the husband and I- but the way my mother-in-law approached it really upset me.  I thought she just wanted to have husband jr. and not to include any part of me in the child.  I know, I know, I'm being a bit over sensitive, but hey, this is a hot topic for me.  (2) I'm not Catholic, but it was very nice and heartfelt to give me the pendant- she is Catholic and clearly believes if I wear the necklace I may get pregnant sooner.

I think the root of this issue is that my husband has told me he doesn't want me to talk about our infertility with his family.  His family is full of secrets, they don't ask about things, they don't talk about difficult subjects, they just pretend everything is fine.  My family is the complete opposite- if I want to know something, I ask, and I know I will get an honest and open answer.  I wanted to know about sex as a tween, and both my mom and dad were open to any questions.  I had questions about family members who had "issues" and I was told the truth.  So it's hard for me not to simply talk about this situation with my mother-in-law.

She obviously wants to know what's going on, and I'd like to include her.  I've had several discussions with the husband about it, and reluctantly agreed that if I REALLY wanted to talk to her about it, I could.  But he knows his family best, and I trust him when he says that his family and his mother would think it strange to talk about our problem openly.

So as I prepare to see her this weekend, I find myself asking if I should talk to her about it because it will make me feel better (and may actually answer her questions), or if I should heed my husband's advice.